Ghosted. By a Client.

Aaaahhhh… So this is how it feels.

I only had one boyfriend in my life, who I even married eventually. So I never experienced getting left or leaving a guy behind.

When people talk about heartaches from their relationships that didn’t work, I could only listen and sympathize. I even often wonder how people supposedly in love conclude that it’s finally the last straw, especially when there’s no third party involved.

So while I’m still quite devastated, I find it funny whenever I think a client ghosted me. Who knew I’d experience this by entering the freelancing world?

As it turns out, ghosting is a thing people should always anticipate when freelancing. I researched for people’s experiences online and found out that some freelancers who got ghosted after being informed that they were hired and would start a specific date, then some already worked for months, then the client would suddenly disappear. Some got paid before it happened, but there were unfortunate ones whose hard work went futile.

Me? Good thing it was just my first week, and I got paid before the silent treatment. But still…

When I decide to commit myself to something, I invest my time and energy heavily. I think long-term. I look ahead, do my research, and develop suggestions for improvement even if I’m off work. Then poof!

I’m pretty sure getting ghosted by a significant other stings more than this. To say it breaks my heart that a client ghosted me is an overstatement. I only feel down. And in essence, ghosting is ghosting.

Just like a regular relationship, I thought everything would be great. My work schedule was on my morning and my Monday to Friday. He was on the other side of the globe, so my schedule meant it was his nighttime and Sunday to Thursday. I suggested following his working hours, but he insisted I pick the best one for me because he wanted ‘it’ to work–his words, not mine–and he works every day anyway. I thought I was fortunate to get such a client. There wasn’t even a need for a time tracker.

So I did my very best to finish the tasks assigned to me at the start of my day. He didn’t track my time so I made it a point to report to him everything I did the entire shift. If some tasks couldn’t be completed because of external reasons, such as the designer was sick, which meant I couldn’t finish the task he assigned me, I would tell him that, too.

I thought everything was okay. Then suddenly, he told me the office would close earlier, and he would come back his Wednesday. That got me a bit bothered, so I searched for the holidays in the United States and found out it was their Independence Day that Sunday, so okay. He works every single day, so he must be taking this time to have an extended vacation.

Little did I know, that was already my last day. I sent him a chat on the day he said that he’d be back, but I received nothing. I waited the whole day, and still… Nothing.

You know what the craziest part of being ghosted is? The lack of closure–I find it really funny that it’s like I’m talking about a romantic relationship.

All sorts of thoughts kept running in my head:

“Did I do something wrong?”

“What went wrong?”

“Was it wrong that I followed up my payment during his supposed off?”

“Was he just busy?”

“Should I wait more days before giving up?”

“Should I send him a final message?”

“Was he too busy that he decided that my job was not a priority anymore?”

“Was he sick that he couldn’t reply?”

“Where did I go wrong? Can I, at the very least, get some feedback?”

And so on, and so forth.

For a couple of days, I was demotivated and sad. I couldn’t muster anything to inspire myself to look for another client. Perhaps, this is the aftermath of ghosting–what a torment when you’re the one being left behind, much more without any explanation.

Just last night, I decided to send him an email. I asked how he was and told him that if he still needs my services, I’m just a Skype chat away. I thought it would be nice not to burn bridges. And what did I get? No response, of course.

For sure, there’ll be better clients that’ll come my way. I wish that ghosting in the freelancing world stops. Freelancers may not be regular employees, but that doesn’t mean they can drop us just like that. But I guess that’s just me wishing for the moon.

P.S. I’m still sad, but it was amusing that while writing this, I couldn’t brush off the thought that it seemed my topic was about a romantic relationship. LOL.